Copy Of Email Response To Questions

(Email Response To Questions regarding My Testimony)

Hi (name removed),

Great to hear from you!

I've put my response under each of your initial questions.

1.) Question: Do you truly believe the market as you say "decimated" simply because of your lack of "faith".

Answer: Wow, that's a really great question (name removed). It never occurred to me that it might sound that way from my testimony...but you're right, it does kind of come across that way.

But the answer is - No. No, absolutely not. In no way do I feel that God might crash a global market as a way to straighten out my personal lack of faith.

BUT, I do believe that God has a way of taking care of both "big picture stuff" on a universal scale...while also still being able to love us each dearly and individually.

So, while He most certainly did not "crash the market" for my personal growth, he absolutely did use that crash as a convenient means to get my attention.


2.) Question: "Is your god punitive?"

Answer: Another great question. I'd be a liar if I said I haven't also wrestled with aspects of this one.

But my answer here is no. No, I do not believe that God is punitive. I do however believe that God is just.


Hear me out on this one:


Smarter people than I have said that "cold" does not truly exist. What we call "cold" is really not a condition at all because you can reach a point of "it not getting any colder".

There is an absolute limit to "cold".

That's because "cold", in all reality, is simply the absence of "warmth".

The one true God is everything "right", everything "just", everything "good", everything "joyful", everything "love" and everything "the way it should be in a perfect world".

So, for the sake of my answer, I'll call God - "Warmth".

And I'll call "cold" - everything "wrong", "unjust", "bad", "sad", "angry", "hateful" and "the way things are in a fallen world".

So, the further we get away from the "warmth" of God....the "colder" we get.


My best understanding of Hell is best described as being 100% separated from God. The TOTAL removal of even the slightest trace of anything "right, just, good, love and the way it "should" be".

I'm pretty sure that it was C.S. Lewis who said something along the lines of:

In the end, God has let us choose, it's either WE say to Him:

"Thy Will Be Done." (I'll embrace YOU Lord and allow you to embrace me.)

Or after He's tried and tried and tried to allow us to rest in his embrace and we've ignored every attempt, he finally gives us what we wanted and allows us to push him completely away, and HE says to us:

"Thy will be done"......leaving us to ourselves, in the "cold" of his absence.

I don't call that punitive.


3.) Question: Everyone has pain, everyone has challenge, everyone seeks comfort.


Answer: I agree, I agree, I agree. We live in a world SATURATED with pain, sorrow, greed, pride and emptiness. Mankind tries and tries again to "solve" these problems to no avail.

On both a global level and on an individual level, we are so screwed up it's pitiful.

BUT, I offer that every single human who has ever taken a breath feels that "This is just not how it's supposed to be." We have a "gut feeling" on our deepest level that things are "wrong" and that things are just simply not "the way they should be."

We're sinners. Fully aware of being screwed up. Fully aware of our "wrongness" on both a global AND personal level....yet incapable of making things right ourselves.

BUT, if I sit down and read the Bible, let's say the "Sermon On The Mount" in the Book of Matthew chapters 5-7, I'll come away with a incredible feeling of "This is how it's SUPPOSED to be, if we could just all TRULY live by these Words, the world WOULD be a perfect place.

How can I KNOW that, yet still be incapable of such perfection.

For me that's proof. Proof of our fallen stature.

4.) Question:

One of my beliefs in regards to pastors, ministers, etc....They are and have always been leaders. They are charismatic, charming, and humorous. They have an immense need for an audience.

They are performers.

Do you not wonder that this new found stage for you is another one in which you wish to succeed beyond what others expect?


Answer:

I beleive that the capacity for sin in the form of pride is always there and must be constantly guarded against.

I pray every day that God keeps me humble and that anything I say, do or write is only for the purpose of glorifying Him and never myself.

I've lived that life and don't want it back.

All of the Pastors I know are the most genuine, kind and humble people I've ever met.

If I'm being honest, I feel like your description of them is a bit of a caricature as opposed to a reality.

But, either way, I don't worship Pastors.

I don't worship myself.

I don't want anyone worshiping a Pastor.

I damn sure don't want anyone worshiping me.

And if/when I ever deviate from that perspective, knowing or unknowing,

I pray that God picks me up, slams me on my head....and bounces me three times across the floor.

However, I would caution against being overly judgmental, of always looking outward at the evil that surrounds you.

You'll always find it..because we are ALL sinners, incapable of perfection.

I think it's wise to focus inward on your own transgressions with a desire to "fix".

Spend time in God's word. He uses it to speak to us.

And simply do your best to show love to everyone else.

Because they are just as screwed up as we are.




5.) Question: Your quest for knowledge and answers to what was obviously a trying time in your life ended with this new found religion?

Answer: No. My quest for knowledge and answers will likely never be over until the day I die.

Even more:

I'm nowhere near perfect.

My past puts a capital "S" in Sin and then makes it cringe.

I continue to fight my own demons on a daily basis.

I fail more than I succeed.

I think way too much about "my own world" and no where near enough time "loving my neighbor".

So my quest for knowledge and answers will go on.

However, my quest for peace has ended...and in a happy way. But not in any "new found religion", it's in finding a personal relationship with Christ that grows stronger every day through prayer, reading His Word and appreciating the fact that he embraces and forgives me despite my many imperfections.

Coming to Christ does not mean I suddenly have all the answers.

It does mean that I finally know where to look for them.

Question: I am angry. Not at you or your experience but at the general belief.

Answer: It's OK to be angry at God. It's OK to have doubts. It's OK to have confusion. That's called being a human...especially when that human is in a period of anguish.

For what it's worth, my advice would be to engage God. Pray. Tell God what's on your mind. Tell him that you're mad at him, tell him why. Tell him that you doubt, tell him why. Tell him that you're sad, that you're confused. Don't hold back your punches, let it all out...over and over. Yell, Scream, Kick.

Jacob wrestled with God. So did Job. So do we. God doesn't seem to mind being wrestled with.

Because even that brings us closer to God and his warmth.

My opinion is that this sometimes seems like the catalyst for us being able to begin to grow even closer to God...and to really be able to come out of the cold and begin feeling the true warmth of his embrace.

I'm so sorry for the pain, the anguish, the anger, the resentment and the confusion that you feel.I know it sounds goofy. I know it sounds "canned".

But Jesus really does love you.

And (name removed), so do I.

-Will